19. I'm just as lost as you are. Sometimes I post my own pictures, most time I don't. New Mexico, born and raised.
I fell in love with the wrong person at
the wrong time.
And now I’m stuck on the one I thought was mine,
in a time I thought was right.
I’m so shut off now,
mean and bitter, always blaming others
for my problems and taking it out on them.
But I don’t care.
I’m just angry at the world.
I don’t understand, but I don’t have the patience to try and understand.
Or maybe I’m just being a brat who’s upset she didn’t get what she wanted.
All I ever wanted was for you to want me the way I wanted you. But
What has hurt the most is how many words I’ve written out for you, and how after nine months, I can’t stop writing words for you.
Mine months ago today, I pushed you away and you never came back.
I still think of you everyday.
And how I hold so much regret.
You said I would be okay without you,
I knew you would be wrong.
Well I bought one in every color at the show haha
And it’s so much different from home.
But here, it’s me that feels different. I didn’t really notice it at first, but people notice me here.
At home strangers will just do that quick glance at me and look back down or look past me.
Here, they linger on me, they actually see me.
A stranger actually talked to me today and held a conversation with me, someone who was my age.
The weirdest of all though, I was standing in line and one of the cashiers looked at me and his whole face lit up as if he knew me. When I got to the front he just kept telling me how cute I was and how he likes my tattoos.
No one pays attention to me like that at home. I feel like if I stayed here, I would be so much happier and that I could find someone like me. Or someone who would like me.
This place is so foreign to me, I want to go home.